How the evening opened
Hello and welcome. My name is Robin and this is Lena. We want to welcome you to this study group on the 37 practices of a Bodhisattva. This is a very precious text that contains the entirety of the Buddhist path in less than 50 concise paragraphs. It is our hope that through this group we can all deepen our understanding of these practices and the path, but also to show how these concepts can be beneficial in our daily lives, even if we aren’t Buddhist.
I thought maybe we could go around the room, introduce ourselves, and say a little bit of why we decided to come here.
Whenever going into any Buddhist practice or discussion, it is very important to consider our motivation.
Guided meditation: motivation
- Ten minutes.
- Get comfortable in the body (relaxed and upright).
- Connect with breath.
- Soften gaze or close the eyes.
- Notice and feel what’s present (thoughts, sensations, feelings).
- Just allow what’s present to be present (non-judgement).
- Breath is natural.
- Think back to when you introduced yourself.
- Try to connect with the feeling that brought you here (your “why”).
- Connect with the positive impact.
- Connect with how this ripples out to others who we interact with (neighborhood, city).
- Interconnectedness and wonder.
- Transcending personal boundaries.
- Come slowly back.
The question we started with
What do we need refuge from?
- When you hear the word refuge, what does it mean to you?
- What do you feel like you need refuge from in your life right now?
- When something feels difficult in your life, where do you instinctively go for relief?
- Think of one place you tend to go when life is hard. What are you hoping it will give you?
Teaching notes
Homage
- A bio of Gyalse Tokme Zangpo.
- The first two paragraphs: the homage.
Analytical meditation
Drafted by Lena Rose Williams, read by Robin.
What do I need refuge from right now?
Let’s take a moment to settle in. This exploration will be simple. We don’t need to strain or make anything happen.
You can close your eyes, soften your gaze, look down at the floor. Whatever helps you be a little less occupied with the room.
Notice that you’re here.
Notice the weight of your body in the chair.
Maybe pay attention to your breath without changing it. Just the breath you’re already taking.
pause
For the next few minutes, we’re going to spend some time with these questions:
What do I need refuge from in my life right now? Where am I suffering?
You don’t need to answer immediately. Just hear the question first.
What do I need help with right now?
Maybe something comes to mind quickly. Something happening at work. Something in a relationship. Money. Your health. Your family. Something you’re waiting to find out. Something you’re afraid might happen.
Or something much harder to name. A feeling that follows you around. A pressure. A kind of exhaustion. The sense that something needs to change.
pause
See if one thing wants your attention. Not necessarily the biggest problem in your life. Just something that feels alive right now. Something where part of you thinks: I want some relief from this.
pause
And notice what happens when you bring it to mind. You might notice something in your body before you have words for it. A tightening. A heaviness. Restlessness. Heat. A sinking feeling. Or maybe very little at all. There isn’t a right response. Just notice.
pause
Now ask: What is it about this that I want refuge from?
Is it the situation itself? Is it what might happen? Is it uncertainty? Loss? Embarrassment? Being alone? Feeling out of control? Having to feel something I would rather not feel?
pause
Try not to settle too quickly on an answer. Stay curious.
If this situation were somehow resolved tomorrow, what would I hope I would finally get to feel? Relief? Security? Peace? Enoughness? Being loved? Being okay?
pause
What am I really looking for?
pause
Now we can turn the question slightly. When this feeling shows up… Where do I already go for refuge? What do I reach for?
pause
Maybe another person. Maybe work. Food. Your phone. Planning. Being productive. Getting reassurance. Trying to understand everything. Trying to control what happens next. Keeping busy. Pulling away. Being right. Prayer. Meditation. A drink. A show you’ve watched ten times. Maybe you have your own thing.
pause
There’s no need to judge any of it. Some of these things may genuinely help us. Just notice the movement: Something hurts… and I move toward something that I hope will help.
pause
That movement is worth paying attention to. Something in us knows that we need refuge.
pause
So choose one of the places you tend to go. And ask, gently: What does this give me?
pause
Maybe it gives relief. Maybe comfort. Maybe a few hours where you don’t have to think. Maybe it gives connection. Maybe a sense of control. Maybe it really does help. Let yourself acknowledge that.
pause
And then ask another question: How much can this actually protect me?
pause
Can it keep things from changing? Can it guarantee that people stay? Can it guarantee that I succeed? Can it keep me from getting sick? Can it make uncertainty disappear? Can it make sure I never feel afraid again?
pause
What happens when the thing I use for refuge is itself uncertain? When another person changes. When the distraction ends. When the reassurance wears off. When the plan doesn’t work. When I get the thing I wanted… and eventually need something else.
pause
Just notice what you see. We don’t have to make it bleak. And we don’t have to conclude that the ordinary things we love are meaningless. This is a narrower question: Can they carry the weight I sometimes ask them to carry?
pause
Maybe stay with that for a moment.
pause
And now return to the thing you brought to mind at the beginning. The thing you wanted refuge from. See if it looks any different now.
pause
Perhaps the question isn’t only: How do I make this difficult thing go away? Maybe there is another question underneath it: How do I meet this part of my life without being completely governed by it?
pause
What would I need in order to do that? Not perfect circumstances. Something deeper. What quality of mind would help? Patience? Courage? Compassion? Clarity? The ability to let something change? The ability to stay present when you don’t know what happens next?
pause
Don’t choose the answer that sounds most Buddhist. Notice what you actually need.
pause
And for a little while, we can stop asking questions. Just sit with whatever you’ve noticed. Maybe there was a clear realization. Maybe there wasn’t. Maybe there’s only a question that feels a little different than it did ten minutes ago. That’s enough.
long pause
Before we finish, return once more to the word refuge. Not necessarily as a religious word. For now, maybe refuge can simply mean: What can I genuinely rely on when life becomes difficult? And perhaps also: What could I cultivate that would change the way I meet difficulty itself?
pause
You don’t have to answer that today. Just notice where the question takes you.
pause
Take another breath. Feel the chair underneath you. Notice the room again. And when you’re ready, come back.
Questions for the week
- Buddhism is something you do, not just something you understand or agree with.
- These are called the 37 Practices, so the invitation is to test them in lived experience.
- Take one thing you noticed today about refuge and stay curious about it during the week.
- Notice moments when you are uncomfortable, stressed, uncertain, or wanting relief.
- Ask: What am I reaching for right now?
- Ask: What am I hoping it will give me?
- Notice whether it actually helps, how it helps, and how long that help lasts.
- Try one small experiment instead of automatically doing what you usually do.
- No need to force a Buddhist interpretation onto the experience. Just observe what happens.