How the evening opened

  • Group introductions and a quick check-in about last week’s questions and topics.
  • Five minutes on motivation and lovingkindness.

The question we started with

  • Do you have a daily or regular meditation practice? If so, what is it like? How does it feel to maintain that routine? What are some challenges you face in maintaining it?
  • If not, do you want one? Why or why not? What are some challenges you face in establishing one?

Teaching notes

Verse 5: Give up bad friends

Verse 5 is about the company that makes the three poisons grow and the practice shrink, and letting that company go.

Verse 6: Cherish the spiritual teacher

Verse 6 is about the friend whose company makes faults fade and good qualities grow, and holding that friend dearer than your own body.

Verse 7: Take refuge in the Three Jewels

Verse 7 is about why worldly gods, caught in samsara themselves, cannot protect anyone, and taking refuge in the Three Jewels instead.

Analytical meditation

Let’s take a moment to settle in. Notice your body in the chair. Notice your breath. Maybe try to get just a little more comfortable before we begin our meditation. We’re going to embark on a guided analytical meditation to explore the verses we’ve been working with today.

These verses ask us to pay attention to the company we keep. They suggest that the people and environments around us affect us.

This can be a powerful idea. Sometimes habit, guilt, or a sense of obligation can keep us in environments that hurt or pull us away from our own preferences. And so, having a practice where we check in might benefit us.

For the next few minutes, we’re just going to explore this idea and see what happens.

Let’s do our best to avoid labeling the people and situations that may arise for the time being. Instead, we’ll pay attention to our own energy, the quality of our attention, and the state of our mind in different environments. What we do with that information can come later. For now, let’s set the intention to simply notice.

pause

Bring to mind a relationship, group, community, or environment that feels a little challenging, sticky, or effortful. Nothing overwhelming. Choose something you can look at with a little space. It might be a person. A workplace. A family setting. A group of friends. A community. Even an online space. Put yourself there for a moment.

pause

What happens in your body? Notice your breath. Your face. Your shoulders. Your stomach. What happens to your energy?

pause

Now notice your mind. Where does your attention go? What kinds of thoughts become easier to have? What feelings show up? Are there habits that seem to come forward more quickly? Let’s remember our intention from earlier. We do not need to call any of this good or bad. We’re just observing now.

pause

And ask: What is it like to be me here?

pause

Do I feel different in this environment? Again, we are not trying to reach a conclusion. Our goal right now is to notice the qualities of the experience. Judgment and decisions can come later.

pause

Stay with that for a moment. Then let the scene fade.

Now bring to mind a relationship, community, or environment where there is more ease. It does not have to be perfect. Just somewhere things tend to flow a little more easily. Put yourself there.

pause

Start with the body again. What happens in this place? What happens to your energy?

pause

Now notice your mind. Where does your attention go here? What parts of you seem easier to access?

pause

And again ask: What is it like to be me here?

pause

Now hold the two experiences next to each other. The more difficult environment. The one with more ease. You do not need to decide what either one means. Just notice the difference. What changes in your body? What changes in your mind? What changes in the way you relate to other people? What changes in the way you relate to yourself?

pause

The verses suggest that different kinds of company can help different qualities grow. See if you can notice that in your own experience. What seems to grow in me here?

pause

What becomes easier? What becomes harder?

pause

Maybe there are environments where certain habits become very strong. Maybe there are others where care, patience, curiosity, or clarity come more easily. There is nothing we need to do with that information right now. For now, we are learning to notice.

pause

And one last question: When I notice that I have been pulled away from how I want to be, what helps me return?

pause

Maybe a person comes to mind. A place. A practice. A teaching. A community. Or maybe you do not have an answer yet. It’s okay.

pause

For a little while, stop asking questions. Just sit with what you noticed.

long pause

If there’s one takeaway from this experience it’s that the question “What happens to me here?” can help us slow down and have more agency in our experiences.

pause

Take another breath. Feel the chair underneath you. Notice the room again. And when you’re ready, come back.

Questions for the week

Choose one or more of these practices to take into the week ahead:

  • What happens to my mind and energy in different relationships and environments?
  • Who or what helps my better qualities grow?
  • What makes someone a good or trustworthy companion for me?
  • When I feel afraid, uncertain, or overwhelmed, what do I turn to for help?